How to Overcome Social Anxiety – A Primer on Social Anxiety Medication and Social Anxiety Symptoms

First off, let’s get one thing straight. You will always have social anxiety even if you overcome the social anxiety symptoms. It’s like the Alcoholics Anonymous mantra, “Once an alcoholic, Always an Alcoholic.” They say that to remind themselves to never let their guard down and start drinking again. It ruins lives when you get addicted to something (an addiction is something you feel compelled to do repeatedly even when it harms you). Why am I talking about addiction? Because your social anxiety symptoms are maintained by your addiction to what psychologists call safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you do to avoid facing your anxiety head-on. Examples include carrying a Xanax pill in your pocket everywhere you go, refusing to go anywhere alone (like the cafeteria) so you don’t have to feel self-conscious, staring at the floor to avoid going red (blushing) when you meet new people, avoiding introducing yourself to a group at church or a club so your heart won’t race. But these are not really the worst kinds of avoidance for people who want to learn how to overcome social anxiety.

The worst safety behaviors are those that you do to hide the fact that you feel anxious. This is a big trap (addiction trap). For example, you try your hardest not to let anyone notice that your heart is pounding when you have to give your presentation at work or at class. Trying to avoid anyone noticing makes you feel slightly safer in the short run, but it’s this kind of thing that causes you to never get the benefit from these situations that could have been your ticket to increasing confidence.

Another example would be getting a sunburn on your face to hide the fact that you are blushing, or not socializing in the first place to avoid your feared fantasy that someone will notice you looking “quiet and awkward.” By trying to avoid your own anxiety (or people noticing it) you never learn how to accept your anxiety to a degree that allows you to beat it. You can beat it and you must beat it if you want any chance at living the life you were meant to have. No one else cares about your anxiety as much as you do. They want to know YOU. Not the perfect you, just you (anxiety and all). Paradoxically, if you face your anxiety by letting others see it, and letting yourself feel it, you will find that it begins to diminish quickly.

The social anxiety medications get mixed reviews from me. If you take one of the SSRI’s like Prozac, Zoloft, or Lexapro, you may reduce your anxiety to a mild degree, but those medications just are not powerful enough to overcome panic-reactions. If you truly panic during presentations or introductions, you should look into information about treating panic attacks more directly. You can also use beta blockers like Propranolol or Inderal to get rid of the heart-palpitations and other physical symptoms of social anxiety. To feel less, anxious, though, you may need to use a minor tranquilizer like Xanax, Ativan, or Klonopin. These are all medications that a psychiatrist or good primary care physician could help you to learn to use appropriately if they deem them necessary. My opinion is that you will have better success in the long run if you succeed without medication (because you will own your success instead of attributing it to the medicine).

There is some research evidence to suggest that phobias respond better to mind-based methods than to a combination of mind-based methods and medication. To learn the mind-based methods, you could visit a psychologist, or start with some self-help reading that is specific to the topic. You’re off to a good start here. Keep reading. Whatever you do, never, never give up. If you fall flat on your face, get up and keep driving for the best life you can have!

Be courageous!

Dr. Snyder is a clinical psychologist who shares insights and self-help resources for people suffering from the effects of social anxiety disorder. Read more about social anxiety at his website:

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